I will run after YOU

Oh what truth will set me free to Holiness and Happiness?
What revelation will liberates me to righteousness and radiance?
Where is the key that will unlock the chains of sins and despair:
Releases me to soar into the wings of purity and delight?

What Or Who...?

Who will love me for who I truly am...in all my brokeness and bending?
Will Truth pursue me into her garden of beauty and pleasure?
Will Truth holds my thirsty heart and bring me to the fountain of Joyful Healing?

When Will I be chosen to enter into the King's chamber?
When will I behold Him in all His beauty and Splendour?
Will I touch the Hem of His garment and know His Healing Power?
Will i rest on His Bosom and finds my rest?

My heart earns....My Beloved calls
Run after Me..

2 kinds of loneliness.

Walk in the Spirit and you shall not fulfill the desires of yoiur flesh.

Unless a corn of seed fell to the ground and die it shall remain alone. Be willing to die to self and the flesh.

Beware that your enemy prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour.

Christ in me the Hope of glory.

I am fully satisfied when God is fully glorified.

There is great beauty to behold of the bridegroom. I am being transformed as I behold Him.

Two kinds of loneliness: Bread for the Journey by Henri Nouwen

In the spiritual life we have to make a distinction between 2 kinds of loneliness. In the first loneliness, we are out of touch with God and we experience ourselves as anxiously looking for someonw or something that can give us a sense of belonging, intimacy and home.

The second loneliness comes from an intimacy with God that is deeper and greater than our feelings and thoughts can capture.
We might think of these 2 kinds of loneliness as 2 forms of blindness. The first blindness comes from the absence of light, the second from too much light. The first loneliness we must try to outgrow with faith and hope. The second we must be willing to embrace in love.

" I AM WITH YOU, TILL THE END OF THE EDGE" JESUS CHRIST

oh...at the end of the age.

Serving servants: The apple of Father's Eye

The Lord is good and HIs mercies are new every morning.
Day by day we are rained by His Faithful Care over our lives as we journey from place to place during this weeks of leave from the church. New places and new faces - we are constantly amazed by divine appointments.

We are now hosted by Paul and Lydia who are caretakers of a home set up by a Chinese couple who just desires that ' God's servants be served".
After dinner last night, we wanted to help wash the dishes and we were lovingly admonished by our host that during this 2 weeks are are just to enjoy their ministry to us.

i admitted that it's much easier to feel good by doing things for others than for others to do for me. Underneath this is the matter of self-worth by way of our "doing". Again the Lord is showing me of His Love for me is not because of any "self-worth' on my part but His favor and blessing is just the expression of HIs unconditional love.

It's so refreshing to listen to Jason Uptown "Open Up the Earth." The chorus ringing in my ears: ' I am the apple of my Father's eye."

Pennsylvania July 15-22

It was so good meeting up with Barbara and her husband, Darryl. They've just been married for over a year and half and they are such a happy, funny and loving couple. They have a nice.cozy little home [ according to American standard ! ]
We flew into Pennsylvania via Phoenix, Arizona. They picked us up from Harrisburg airport to their place at Mechanicsburg - a very beautiful historical city. I walked 3 hours around the old town.It was refreshing and energizing just feeling the town.
On Thursday, Darryl and Barbara drove us to Lancaster. At Strasburg we drove around an Amish community. I could have spend days just taking in all the history, feasting on the buildings, sceneries, artword, and handicrafts. Then we went to Sight & Sound Theatre for a Live Production of "Ruth".It was awesome - the staging, singing, dancing, acting..Broadway Standard and in all - powerful Christian Message. Nellie, myself and Barbara wet many tissues. Darryl was tired.
Friday, after chinese, banana, cinnamon pancake breakfast [ i made them and they were very good ] we drove to Baltimore inner harbour, Maryland. It was just beautifully serene having lunch at a restaurent overseeing the harbour. The hours passes by too fast and we have to go to BWI airport to catch our flight back to Kansas City.
Darryl and Barbara will be building their own house soon and there will be more rooms for more guest in the future. Maybe FCC people should start saving up to make a group trip to Kansas City and then to Pennsylvania.?? It's going to be quite a pilgrimage. There's quite some holy ground to cover in USA - believe it or not.
Right now, God has provided us a beautiful housing near IHOP. A Chinese couple living in LA purposely bought this place as a 'prophet chamber" for pastors/missionaries/ ministers to come and seek God. Thank God for raising such people with such big hearts. We pray that more Malaysians will catch such vision from the Lord.
This morning we attended meetings at World Revival Church with Carlos and Claudia from Agentina. Powerful service.
We have been flying so much.
We want to fly with the Holy Spirit.

Pennsylvania July 15-22

It was so good meeting up with Barbara and her husband, Darryl. They've just been married for over a year and half and they are such a happy, funny and loving couple. They have a nice.cozy little home [ according to American standard ! ]
We flew into Pennsylvania via Phoenix, Arizona. They picked us up from Harrisburg airport to their place at Mechanicsburg - a very beautiful historical city. I walked 3 hours around the old town.It was refreshing and energizing just feeling the town.
On Thursday, Darryl and Barbara drove us to Lancaster. At Strasburg we drove around an Amish community. I could have spend days just taking in all the history, feasting on the buildings, sceneries, artword, and handicrafts. Then we went to Sight & Sound Theatre for a Live Production of "Ruth".It was awesome - the staging, singing, dancing, acting..Broadway Standard and in all - powerful Christian Message. Nellie, myself and Barbara wet many tissues. Darryl was tired.
Friday, after chinese, banana, cinnamon pancake breakfast [ i made them and they were very good ] we drove to Baltimore inner harbour, Maryland. It was just beautifully serene having lunch at a restaurent overseeing the harbour. The hours passes by too fast and we have to go to BWI airport to catch our flight back to Kansas City.
Darryl and Barbara will be building their own house soon and there will be more rooms for more guest in the future. Maybe FCC people should start saving up to make a group trip to Kansas City and then to Pennsylvania.?? It's going to be quite a pilgrimage. There's quite some holy ground to cover in USA - believe it or not.
Right now, God has provided us a beautiful housing near IHOP. A Chinese couple living in LA purposely bought this place as a 'prophet chamber" for pastors/missionaries/ ministers to come and seek God. Thank God for raising such people with such big hearts. We pray that more Malaysians will catch such vision from the Lord.
This morning we attended meetings at World Revival Church with Carlos and Claudia from Agentina. Powerful service.
We have been flying so much.
We want to fly with the Holy Spirit.

IHOP. Walking on Holy Ground

Tomorrow we will be flying to Pennsylvania to meet up with Barbara and hubby Daryll. It will be a good week. Then we will come back again to Kansas City to go for a second round of two weeks at IHOP. International House of Prayer. They have been running a 24/7 harp and bowl ministry of worship and intercession non-stop since 1999. WOW. Different people from all places around the world have been visiting IHOP - pastors, missionaries, ordinary folks who just want to meet Jesus afresh and be renewed, revived, refreshed and empowered.

I stand amazed at the number of young people who have given days, weeks, months and years to come to seek God in this place. Some have never intended to stay so long. These happenings have been prophesied a very long time ago. This ministry started very humbly with about 20 people [ I heard ] and God has cause His favor, anointing to grow through the years. It's just amazing to notice a lot of people with "angelic faces and voices" praying, worshipping, playing music, doing everything with such joy, gentleness, commitment, discipline, excellence, love and humility. So many are volunteers.

The ministry have gone through testings and came forth shining brighter, purer and more glorious.

There is so much to soak in this place. The Word, the Spirit. the passion, the anointing.

This is just a very brief update.

Prophecy: Fire on my feet. REST. PEACE.

Swallow me Jesus

I want to see Jesus. It's so difficult to see Jesus.

Sometimes I see Him, no I see the work He does in someone's life. Someone called on Jesus. Someone's life touched by Jesus. Someone testifying about Jesus, committing to Jesus, talking Jesus. I rejoice and I weep and I thank Him. But then I weep again because the person stop talking/showing the work/s of Jesus in his or her life. I sigh, I grieve, I get upset, I am disappointed with them, with myself...with Jesus as well. Why doesn't He do more in the person's life so that I can see His reality, His love and His power.

I can't see much Jesus in myself. I wish to see more Jesus in me. I want Him to take over but it seems like He is not. There is so much me inside of me.

I want to see Jesus. I want someone to show me Jesus, I want to see someone being Jesus, Jesus doing - I want to hear Jesus speaking, not just someone speaking about Jesus.

Today at the Cafe, across the table, Nellie, myself and this person: someone let Jesus out of his life while talking to us - here and there. He knows he is imperfect. But the Jesus in him was perfect. I felt Jesus loving me through him, i hear Jesus speaking, comforting, assuring me, answering my quest and my questions. This person kept directing me back to Jesus: And he shows the Jesus in me - probably a small Jesus in me - because there's still so much of me in me. But this Jesus is not small - He's BIG. Can I allow Him to swallow me up?

I did not see His finished work. I tried, i am trying so hard, so not very hard
...I have to stop trying. it's not about me, it's about Him.

My Father, my friend, my healer, my joy, my strength, my security, my identity.

Thank you brother for showing me Jesus. Thank you Jesus for showing yourself.

The relevancy of the Cross

Last night was another heartfelt conversation in the home of our host.
Somehow the issue of the need of forgiveness never fails to enter into any telling and sharing of "our stories".
The Cross undenialbly becomes the crossroad that determines our freedom from the pain of unforgiveness. I found that the message of the Cross is ever relevant to every wounded heart - that means everybody who is alive.

Nobody escapes being wounded. We all are wounded people, whether physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually. The main question is not 'how can we hide our wounds?' So we don't have to be embarrased,but " how can we put our woundedness in the service of others?' When our wounds ceased to be a source of shame and become a source of healing, we have become wounded healers.
Jesus is God's wounded healer; through his wounds we are healed. Jesus suffering and death brought joy and life.His humiliation brought glory; his rejection brought a community of love. As followers of Jesus we can also allow our wounds to bring healing to others ----Henri Nouwen.

The Christian reflects Christ as wounded healers.

Valued, Digniified, Befriended

Last Sunday evening P.Chris and family here at LA invited some family and friends over for BBQ. Got to have quite an interesting conversation with one of the locals. As we warmed up over the sausages, chickens, salmon etc...we managed to talk about our spiritual journey. When I asked him about his spiritual journey he wanted to know if I was asking about his faith affiliation. I replied that it's more open ended and interesting to talk about spirituality or any relationships [ God, marriage, family ] in terms of a journey. How, why, what....a conversation; of sharing something personal, honest, real and non-controversial in tone.

After asking and getting to know something about me and about my work [ a pastor ] he volunteered to inform me that he was Catholic and he shared on a meaningful spiritual experience. I was able to share on my spiritual journey and my experience of Jesus, the power of forgiveness and love. Yes, LOVE is a core desire of everyone and people would desire to know about love because everyone wants to love well and be loved well. AND GOD IS LOVE THROUGH CHRIST JESUS.

Have us not realized that most people are opened to converse about spirituality if they can sense that you do not come with a " Mine is better or I am holier than you attitude and they can also sensed that you are genuinely interested in their life and you are not just wanting to sell some product and informations. Most people desired to be valued, dignified and befriended. Isn"t that what the Gospel is essentially: We who were made in God's image are truly Valuable, have our basis of Dignity in this Eikonic creation and The Greatest and most Sacrificial Friend desires to befriend each one of us in a total and complete way?

He expressed hope that we could meet again ,if not here, THERE.....pointing towards the SKY.
Daniel Dixon, if you ever get to read my blog..thank you for that open conversation over the BBQ.

May we ask the Lord for true compassion through accurate vision of each individual that He allows us to know.

Shalom.

This is the day

We arrived safely in LA. Still getting over the jaglag. Thank you all for praying for us.

How do we look at our life and live it everyday, rather than just trying to go through the day?
Many people labor boringly on weekdays and look towards the weekend for the break from their 'work'.
Why do we only sing " this is the day that the Lord has made" on Sunday and not live it from Monday to Sunday?
Can we believe that the Lord made everyday and we can rejoice in each day that we live?

"Each day hold a surprise. But only if we expect it can we see, hear, or feel it when it comes to us. Let us not be afraid to receive each day's surprise, whether it comes to us as sorrow or as joy. It will open a new place in our hearts, a place where we can welcome new friends and celebrate more fully our shared humanity. Joy and Sorrow are parents of our spiritual growth."
-Henri Nouwen.

Do you have friends to share your sorrow and joy. Then you are blessed. Are you touched by the infirmities and sadness of others. Then you are a blessing.

Prayer: " Lord open our eyes to see and understand."